MY GOTU KOLA EXPERIENCE AND MY DIARY INTERVIEW BLOG

 “BELIEVE IT OR NOT THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION KEPT COMING TO ME:

YOU ONLY NEED TO BE GIVEN BIRTH TO FOR YOUR BRAIN TO BE AFFECTED? Something kept saying

REALLY? Said I

ISN’T THE BRAIN STILL IN FORMATION AFTER BIRTH?  I answered in an attempt to try and reason with myself

WHY ON EARTH WOULD MY OWN BRAIN COME UP WITH THAT? I finally asked myself”

“Because your Brain, Lavinia maybe trying to tell you something? Maybe your brain is directing your attention to ask you…what your brain was formed with? Or around?” Lavinia

Dry and Crusty

Old and Dry

Brown and Rustic

Green but not Bright 

Long Branches and Tiny Leaves

Create a Thicket 

Dried Gotu Kola

For whose relief?

The Gotu-Kola Herb has been referred as the Brain Herb which has been known to have a positive effect on Alzheimer’s, and Fatigue to name but a few benefits!

So, what happened between you and Gotu-kola Lavinia?

“Was taking my daily supplements had made up a jar of the herb in powder form and I could just feel the difference almost immediately I took the herb”

Why did you take so many?

“I don’t really know I think because I was taking one or two at time to see if I felt the difference and eventually felt a big difference and half a dozen”

And you immediately ate a big meal after to see what effect taking the herb will have on that didn’t you?

“Yes, I did”

How did you feel, and what different?

“Well, you know a big heavy meal can bring on fatigue, but I did not feel that at all in fact I got up and got a lot done which I would not have been able to do normally!”

So, what were you going through before… I mean what were you feeling or living like?

“Good questions….what was I living like and feeling like…its really strange because my hair growth pattern tends to grow long from the crown of my head taking over any other length of hair in its momentum, yet from the lower part of my head…the cerebellum area on grows to neck length…I remember literally feeling as though I was very heavy headed as though I could not think, or shift my thoughts, I definitely felt demotivated to get done the thing I was looking forward to doing.”

But, once you took the herb that changed that evening?

“Literally!”

What about any side effects did you have any, if so when did they start?

“I did have side affect without realising I was experiencing them at first. I went on taking the herb in capsule form for at least weeks, and only noticed I was feeling very dizzy, when waking, I sleep on the floor not on furniture so having to hike myself up from the floor at my weight because I wasn’t getting any smaller whilst injured unfortunately there was a lot of mental anguish, emotional fall out, psychological bruising, though I was thankfully, not going through the worst thing, it still knock me for six!”

How hard was it to manage those side effects?

“I have always been really lucky that I do not suffer badly from headaches and such so when my head started spinning I thought it was really strange. I felt like my head was being swished around, it felt like if thought the wrong thing my head would spin and that was while I was lying down, I did not know if in kidney disease it made a difference if you laid on ones of your body than the next but that certainly seemed to make a difference to me for a long while.”

What, so you mean, if you laid on your left side rather than on your right side that would make a difference if your head spun more or less?

“Yes!”

When did the side affects change?

“Well, I eventually looked up the side effects again and remembered what was said but I was not taking as many by then, and eventually stopped taking any for weeks at a time, and felt better then would take one or two and not have any effects, and like recently like yesterday took one and had another bad reaction. So, probably will leave them alone”

So, overall, was it worth taking? Does the crown of your head still feel compressed and heavy?

“No, not at all have not felt as heavy since”

And you felt what exactly when you took that first dozen?

“My God.like the whole top of my head became clean, like the heavy drowsy feeling vanished, just vanished off of me, it wasn’t even like it had just lifted only to be smacked down even harder, it was genuinely just gone, had I been able to figure out the exact amounts to take, and when to stop so I did not experience the dizziness it would have been brilliant!”

Stopping taking the herb how did that feel and how did you manage that?

“I had stopped for long periods anyway plus I was actually travelling to Mexico City for an all expenses paid Birthday Holiday Gift which my daughter had organised for me!”

Lucky you!

“Blessed, I am very Thankful, and Grateful to be so Blessed more than lucky is the way I see it. I used that 5/6 day break to stop, and check in how that felt.”

How did you feel?

“Solid, no dizziness, less foggy but I was still struggling with stress, jet lag, I felt physically suppressed, I was the heaviest weight I have ever been weighing in without realising it at 17+ stone, yet invigorated at the same time!”

Mental anguish?

“It was still there what has happened still happened and what is so difficult is that it is things which happened at work, that then linked to things which connect to housing, like my home life.”

Which no doubt has led to a cash crisis, is that what is also called a cost of living crisis?

“Maybe, I cannot get into that it is different for everybody.”

But, you do talk about, or speak out about abuse so what can’t you get in too?

“I cannot get into the definition of cash less so to speak because the reason may be different for everybody?”

What does the mean?

“That everybody’s level of financial responsibility and ability is different, and in that difference may determine the ability to get, or gain and maintain healthy cash levels.”

Is there more to it than that?

“Yes, of course that is. What are you dealing with environmentally, or even mentally if life it about the law of motion of natural law? Are you really able to attract who and what you want? Are you really able to be pure in you mind about who and what you want or is that affected or influenced in someway by what you do not want without you knowing that is an undercurrent in your life, or mind?”

That said, you must be making a recovery from what you went through especially physically, even if you are still struggling with other areas of your experiences is it a get on to be smack down even harder? 

“I pray not.”

Is it wise or are you being stupid returning to what you were doing?

“It’s a necessity. It is how I fund my life. It is how I make my money to live. I am not there at work, or anywhere else for me, or my daughters life to be attacked due to the wellness or illness perceived as interest to others. All I can do is mind my/our own business and do the best that I can for me, and my family.”

It has not been easy for either of you that’s for sure, it is especially difficult if belittling is part of abuse, and carries on without you even realising that is possibly continuing in various forms, and if you also have responded to what you have been faced with that way, even if intentionally or not….tell me about Washington Dulles?

“Yes, very true….and yes I did stop over at Washington Dulles, on my way back from Mexico City…”

When did you leave Mexico City?

“Umm…hmmm…I left on the 21/01/2023 arriving in the UK early hours of 22/01/2023.”

Hmmm…mmm

“It was so much Washington Dulles…as it was….”

Hmmm…mmmm…it was not comfortable come on…something of, something was something?

“And what that something is I still cannot tell you because I do not know. Ok, I did find that on my flights the abuse I experienced on road was still in there, I was forced to realise.”

In the plane?

“Just found I was sitting near people who will light up their faces from time to time. I used to see drivers doing that on the round as they drove past my or toward me.”

Did you recognise them?

“Never, to this day not aware of who they are!”

What? What else happened?

“No, nothing really….I just found it strange that’s all that on the return flights which departed from Mexico City safely, thankfully, on the 21/01/2023 the plane wasn’t as full as the outbound from London Journey. So, it was nicer for some people they could stretch out and sleep. I thankfully, sat by the window and though someone attempted to sit beside me, again in what I can only call a kind of covert still of communication almost threateningly seated beside saying; no peace…”

Shall we talk about the ponging going on top of your head or ceiling after this?

“Yeah, any way I must have dosed off, and the next thing I knew is the seat beside me remained empty. But, I found really strange that I kept feeling like somebody was standing near my chair, but every time I looked there was nobody there, and it happened again I closed my eyes and I felt like I saw a young olive skinned male with short hair standing near my chair face facing the back of the plane near the controls and the toilets. It felt very imposing, at times a bit morbid…”

Was like an impression, like a shadow or figure of a person you saw, or felt you saw?

“I did close my eyes and at that moment I could see the impression of the figure I just described. Our flights inbound to London were surprisingly early, but really safe thank god. What disturbed me, I was among the last to exit the plane…as I walked to the front of the plane I could hear this not so English accent of someone speaking saying something about when I pushed, or got the first one across then I knew…something or the other said in that vain….almost automatically I was irritatedly threatened by this female looking persons conversation was having which was nothing to do with me, except my intuition went into alert mode, I felt very physically aggravated because the whole the felt like an acting out, my instinct overtook my imagination as this person was still talking away, but instinctively I feel like I felt what this female sounding voice was saying was related to me possibly receiving images as possibly impressions, and for some reason that made sense and in my imagination I imagined a zip, and zipped down from my waist downward, and as if by some miracle this female sounded person stop speaking.”

Can confirm you felt threatened? Are you better able to recognise the threat of invasion of your life?

“Yes, it did feel like a threat, almost every scenes that went like that from the need to get a message to me about who would be sitting in front of me, and what they will be watching on their device, all forms part of I know what you are going to do next, which is all a continuum of childhood abuses, and at times is like a form of rape to me.”

The Yoghurt and Biscuits for Breakfast?

“That was such a treat and welcomed distraction!”

How is…or…are you always dealing with the abuse and if so why?

“I cannot deal with the why, it is too varied, and is filled with so many components and possibles even that in itself is abusive. Am I still dealing with abuse. Sadly, yes, and sometimes that is hard, and unforgiving…”

Unforgiving, why unforgiving?

“Because, the truth is it is not just about me. It never has been. With the advent of social media, and the continuums such as bad relationships though ended returning or going on to become part of the continuum, I like so many other parents/carers/guardian have rather not speak about our children in the same sentence as abuse. I came to realise I sound like the effects of abuse is not carried by anyone else. But, as hard as each generation tries for the abuse not to be a continuum to the next generation, our children we must never forget they still suffer, and go through what we go through. Not the exact same or similar incidents at times. However, in some cases it might be a generational abuser which can lead to within the continuum more often than not the abuser also the abused.” 

Recognition, and what comes next is difficult do you agree?

“World power, the economy or lack of, global decision making, war, decisions that shape each sector of industry, and world operation, local government, local councils, religion, business, opportunities, therapy, medical and legal services. The list goes on, and on…”

As the impact?

“Yes, which is why I said that I do not want to get into”

Are you an idiot to believe in yourself at this stage in your life?

“No”

I mean it seems like you are trying to get somewhere but are you stupid to be returning to something which has seen you been abused, possibly even followed home held onto for years, misperceived as being interested in other when you may not even know who they are or what they have, think nothing more of you other than someone to put down, or be tested over, and over again?

“I mean, I have to laugh what am I suppose, to answer to that. Thankfully, that is not where my head is. Maybe, you need to seek out whose banter that really is because it is not here.”

I bet you its not over for you. Have you seen anyone from the plane, and what about the angry face?

“I think I had one or two sightings. It was the most bizarre experience. I must admit I do not always figure it out right away if ever at all because thankfully, I do stay in my own life. Even, though I think about things so as to write.”

Oh, I bet it was. He likes his team all on the same mental flow, is that it. Zip up one day, energy to be sealed down on the other day, that is a form of some kind of something alright, don’t suppose anyone knows how out of nowhere this can all start, let alone become. Go on then, go back to your self fund can’t you hear the personal alarm screaming around in the background, aren’t you scared?

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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#laviniadeayr