An Example of Internal Conversations in Lavinia's Brain!

“Good Morning, Lavinia!”

“Morning,  morning, morning Thankfully!”

“How are you this morning?’

“I feel like I have just woken up from a trance form of sleep...”

“Trance form of sleep?”

“Yeah...like when its really vivid...the colours are bright...the streets are wide....the houses are big...the conversation and even touch seems real...you are just dumping masses of energy from your body....’

“When that happens what is happens?”

“I dreamt of my late sister as though she was alive. She looked plump and well i didn't know the difference ...”

“The difference?”

“It was as though I forgot she had died....and I am sorry if that sounds so I sensitive of me. But it was like a contact dream.”

“What was happening in your dream? What role were you playing?”

“All I can remember now is being present with my car. Then our hair was all natural all curly in a ponytail. We are wearing all shades if blue. There are alot of women around. It is a very careful atmosphere. A large whitish woman is inaugurated and skinny talks about have been the prime minister. Back to scenes with my sibling she instructs me to drop them off at the airport. Its as though I turn around and I cannot find the group of women she is among.  I am on the street and I cannot find my car...it is a “hilly" street. Then as I go to call the compound I am made to realise the lesson that my car would not be there because what I am in is not real...wait...let me explain further....at some point in the dream we are in not dark brown and not light coloured wood either. But we are surrounded by a very smooth wood partition. Did I mention that all the “groups" around us were international police?”

“Dear God...what might that mean?”

“I wouldn't like to think?”

“Is your functioning correct?”

“I dear say their is enough bile iNbetween my brain cells by now...a lot of shouting goes on up there medical intuitative’s have a term for that? “

“is it still about spiritualism for you hearing voices?”

“I try to maintain an equal openness to both the spiritualist movement and the brain health revolution.”

“You have had readings and predictions made about you or against you. One of which told you not to return to the job you are doing now....the other is that which ever way you look at it you will have to go to court...how has your experience matched up?”

“Dear God...how do I begin?  Should I say it is so cowardly to attack someone at their only point if resource? Sometimes no matter how you try even after 6 hours you cannot return to sleep....why should i be attacked for it because that is exactly what this feels like.....all i knew was i saw a small van come passed me and felt myself blank out into feeling sleepy and i was wide awake.  Drivers have come passed flashing their lights at me and i have again fallen into a brief trance type sleep im aware of what im doing but am in an altered state, and my body has felt like its is being pulled toward the driver who flashed....that happened again with two unmarked vans. Even when I have had enough sleep.  Within my experience of spiritualism I must have unbeknownst to me met one two or three unsavoury characters...and maybe I am possessed by someone who is deeply parasitic... and maybe there is such a things as someone walking around or reaching out of your aura? Who knows? I do know on one occassion every time i drove over a bridge i was almost knocked out and me and the vehicle nearly swerved off the bridge all I remember  seeing was a tiny blonde banana heel wearing type of whitish looking blonde girl hold her thumb to index finger together with her left arm bent but raised as though pulling the reigns if a twisting horse and do you know nothing moved after i saw that? Moments later....Over the road think it was M74 shortly after that sleep trance attack on the other side if the carriage way I seen a light blue i think French make of car drive into  the central reservation of the motorway they were two well dressed very dark skinned people. I wondered if they had been affected by the same thing?”

“Hmmm...mmmm....so do you think something is being practiced on you?...what do you think this is?”

“ I think I need to get my brain scanned is what I think....other than that people have bent spoons for entertainment purpose smashed planks if wood ....put people to sleep in public who is watching or controlling those who learn all of that and practice on the unsuspecting not for entertainment purposes?”

“Has this all been a recent experience?”

“It became intense since 2018 it may have began as early as 2014”

“Again...2014?”

“Hey.....you tell me me anybody got rhe absolute and undeniable truth id love to hear it"

“Find it very strange nobody has been able to come forward at least in a decent professional manner to you!”

“Last shift 11/12/2021 there was a diversion heading in that lead off the M40 onto the A412. I never took the diversion because in front of me was I think its Toyota car two tone brown and black at back. I don’t know of a occult uses these cars as their roll around cars...but I could feel the sleep rising and that has happened  before same make of car emerged from services M25 toward the A3 I began feeling strange and was again in trance type sleep by the time the car was infront of me. Yes this could be me but they are also using something...”

 "Is this the stalkers who broke into your home?"

"Maybe?"

“Did you get the car reg?”

“I think i seen partial plates maybe yzl/olh? But I’m no longer sure of that. I have mixed up letters and numbers up before,  both are a chalkenge to me.”

“I know you may not like this but there are apps to support the domestically abused?”

“It is true I don’t want get involved that way because some providers of help can be equalky abusive or even more abusive than the abuser depending what type of deal or level of pressure  they are under to make their solution work. I turned onto Essex Road on the way home. Seen two Police cars i felt like my forehead was  punched as it seemed like one cars headlight’s was again raised reminded me of an incident many years ago on the M6  TOLL road when I was driving tankers! There was a diversion on the way home I ended coming along park lane. I seen two bikers never recognised there faces. In fact never saw there faces all i felt was like a pressure trying to push down from the top my head the feeling was sad and mournful. I pushed it back up and away from my head...and said if you want to feel sad that's you that is not what i do. Strangely enough the bike reacted?  But since this all started the way it did in 2018. Well more so this year I feel completely bombarded as I drive now. I generally start the week empty head by the time I am a few miles down the road my head is filled with metal wheels to cut energy, saws, rods, anything as my genital areas becomes clipped and pinched  without me doing anything I ferl dragged into reacting by imagining rhe same thing back. It feels like constantly reacting as though having an  antifrelatic shock. It is against my will it is not want I would choose to do. It feels like a stalker situations allowed to last too long and  it is all very exhausting!”

“Had you not been....sorry we just switch phone amid fears of being hacked...had you not been going through stalking do you think you will be struggling with your business time and energy?”

“It doesn't help...that’s for sure but time and energy if I’m honest has always been an issue anyway.”

“What do you think of entrepreneurship aa someone stalked...I am wondering if the intensity entrepreneurs sometime use does that affect you?”

“It can and that us a double edge sword. As a young Mum tryung to get us more money to live off was hard, I had to go hard at it from place tp place. I would have to avoid saying what my last low paid job was because certain agency staff would not let you rise above it ....”

“So you were forced to lie?”

“I swear fo God some people would refuse to pay you anything to live off   back in the day....they made a thief out of you no lie. It can be just another term a stalker or abuser will try to hide behind.”

“ Shall we leave it there?”

“Yes...”

“Thank You so much"

“Many Thanks!”

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What you have just read is the way I learnt to talk to myself after coming across the works of Sister Shivani

At the time I was writing I think it was Poetry Index 5  

Seeing the  Interviews with Sister Shivani and Suresh Oberoi changed my Life even though my experience  and subject is vastly different. My Self-Healing works changed,   My creative writing style changed, and my internal journey changed. It help me to create a very safe environment within myself to express and heal what I was going through, and what I felt. I am so Grateful to Sister Shivani and Suresh Oberoi for those interviews. Many, many Thanks.

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Natural Flowism

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A Freedom of Being!

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#laviniadeayr 

Accredited Brain Health Professional 

Studied at Amen University


Though I have already published these works I feel I need to add. During my Primary School Years at Fuham Primary School 1969 till 1976 I learnt about a game don't know what it is called where in the game you would stare at someone until they touched where you stared at. Wanted to unclude that because it may play a role in creating in the strange experiences that I described!

 

 

 

 

 







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