Accepting Your Own 🧠Brain
So, what do you do when someone suffers from a need, thought or belief to spread around that they have won every competition against you that you never knew existed?
Staying Level
And what do you do if this is someone who suffers from a very troubled and abused past which has left them a very deluded and possibly as a result avery stealthy person with an act or intentions that leaves nobody realising that is someone whose abuse has made them into an unseen or detected attacker?
It has been a couple of days now since I had one of my best brain healthy days.
Have you ever studied something absorbed your lessons but once your studies are over, and the pressure is off. You feel you can relax. All you have to do is adapt what you have been taught appropriately until it is second nature almost that is what it feels like needs to happen.
In 2015, I wrote my first free flow poetry book. Which means I just sat down and wrote what came to me in that very moment. What ever images, locations, situations I was in, going through, or was being forced to go through.
Something I have always tried to stay away from despite writing about the affects of stalking behaviours on not just my life, is the threat, and feelings of impossibility, that someone who cannot escape the suffering of the negative function of their mind can pass on to you. Be it by sensation, or through instinct in readiness to commit a very harmful seen or unseen, or even accumulative mean act.
It has been a life time of negotiating abuses, the disbelief and disrespect of others, and at times the failing of my own memory or strength to be able to get the correct attention to the right people who had also been abused by what we as a family had been through. Trust me on top of that nobody needs stealth and competition that can result in subtractions.
It does not always come naturally to everybodies function to know
If you are being projected at deflect the projection. But how do you even recognise the projectors intention in the first place?
This is possible externally, and it can be very difficult or feel like an impossibility to accept that this has to happen internally first.
Especially, when you know and need no one to prove that beyond all responsible doubt that you have been unfairly hurt, and intentionally damaged.
You may not intend to wallow in any type of wow. But the affects do make an undeliable impression on you somehow, and all the things you intended to be, or get up and do, just seem completely alien to do. Worst yet, they all seem to be disappearing into the distance.
Not by your deed, need, or intention.
Sometimes, I have gotten despondent with my writing because it all sounds the same, and have often chosen not to express myself only to feel completely burdened.
The reason I write about what I do as someone who trained professionally to heal personally is to address the area of my own function that feels abuse, cruelty, and the mention of everyday torture still falls between the gaps of positivity.
For me, getting into the nooks and crannies of how every variety, and type of everyday abuse, cruelty, and torture is carried out matters, it just seems pressingly important to me. It continually conjures up thoughts, images, and memories of my having to figure it all out - years which spanned from my formative years as child to the in depth tense teenage years. The feelings of being the one person up against a wrong and cruel misogynistic regime, where not one day of my pain or anything I cried out or said was respected. The right to develop unhurt as child, and the right not to be forced or taught how to hurt another child or human being to not go or become completely unrecognised or unrectified.
If I could have understood it as it really was within the gravity and right to innocence without being forced to continually live with the continual burden of guilt, false truths, wickedness disguised within kindness, and a well being which had no knowledge abuses existed how much different would my existence have been?
If others can read how it really felt to me. How much more changed would their understanding, belief system, and self-worth be?
Brain Health studies has within it the truth that can still release so much frustration if you have one inch about you that thinks there is another way out other than to do exactly what your brain needs to function well, and most of all create for you the healthiest mind.
As I sat writing my very first eBook in 2015. Poetry Index 1
I wrote a poem about where there is an accomplice there is a witness.
I knew I was being forced to feel up against it. In such away nobody will want to hear me say it.
For everyone to a greater or lesser degree it has become really hard to hear that it comes from within, first. It does not always feel good.
Why would you sit and take responsibility all day everyday when you can negate the hardest task by throwing it out and away from you at others? Especially, if that all of a sudden makes you popular, or allows you to hide a deep held mysterious anxiety that you cannot understand is unveiling your purpose, and direction to a better life where you are not constantly swimming against everybody hurting them with the belief that revenge can solve anything?
It is a hard task to say I have to see, and say to yourself where within me I have projected something that has brought this stealthly mean situation, individual, or village toward me. It is a task I do not mind admitting especially when I think back to my youth to how I became vilified enemy within my own family because I eventually recognised, and spoke against a wrong I had not committed. The sensation of blood boiling under your skin, and your own tears burning in and outside your face with absolutely no relief. None. Because that also happened to everybody in your family. But you screamed, and was determined to see something change others saw furthers ways to carry on the same as hard as that is to say. Left out in the cold does not come close to the intention for continual humiliation to rule and destroy the world.
I knew what I meant when I wrote where there is a witness that is an accomplice. That intention of humiliation because I was forced to report someone because if I was hell bent. It was against abuses going on, and on. I could feel the attack on my Mothering, as we became more independent but had not the insight to see or believe where that will lead. Menopause changes the view of many things.
I worried about sounding self-righteous. The hate that comes at you when you are left to be part of those who are always saying it is the one thing. The frustration to be understood that you have interest to be control. But, now have to distracted by worry because the wear and tear of someone else breeds concern over who they may attempt to control. Even though you can see it for real.
Somehow, the truth had to be out there that you cannot ever get away without leaving evidence. That is what kept free flowing to me. It was like a constant pump of information flowing through me which I had to guide into Poetry. It is unbelievable the hatred that can be presented when underneath everybody remains unaware and misinterpreting what is actually suffering.
As much as I knew where there is an accomplice there is a witness, I did not concentrate an accomplice being able to be described as one organ.
Stalkers can often feel a form of victory over someone they have become so deluded about without realising that is what they are experiencing. For the person being deluded about. They can be forced to deal with sensations of the deluded persons feelings who tries to make them feel as though they have lost.
This to me, is where it powerfully comes back to understanding it comes from within you first. This was my first lesson I realised that began to liberate me from constant suffering. I get into it time and time again with suffering, and what goes well for me is I cannot hide it, and can share it.
It has never been any easy path or route out of any situation, mindset, or thought process without progress, I have been stuck in. There is more than a library of reflections that escape from me and everyone else on a moment to moment to basis. Which is why things like conscious living is termed as a practice because it is an ongoing process of self-management.
Every New Year which we can never take for granted around the Globe is often welcomed with so many practices to the point of rituals it can leave so many exhausted they end up opting out.
From making sure your house is clean and orderly, to going out and getting drunk, or making resolutions to become more healthy, all carried to connect too, or control life and Opportunity to show up more favourably.
I have probably carried out or participated and done just about every one of those things, with loved ones with good and unbelievable results too.
I studied but had suffered a lot. Despite all I had studied, I was not becoming any physically better though felt completely confident of knowledge I had chosen to learn. But had been really fuzzy over one important thing. Even though, I got it. It felt like it kept being represented as confusion.
But why?
Was that instinct? Intuition? Anxiety? Wrestlessness? A problem with disbelief? Or answered prayer?
Have you ever noticed that before you really sort something out you get fed up, everyone, and everything seems impossible?
Scrolling Instagram as I often do watching my favourite shorts, and I stop at Dr Amen talking about his new book. Change your Brain Everyday.
I had still been foggy. There was just something I could not release. Something, I could not accept at the level I first heard it at probably due to having to learn so much other information. But, happiness cannot begin to explain how it feels like how happy I am to learn it all again years later where it all just sounds even clearer....and to quote Dr Daniel G Amen Md: Your Brain Creates Your Mind, and it is the hardware of your soul!
Your Brain is involved in everything you do, and are. Your Brain creates health or a sick reality!
I honestly don't think I have ever heard anything more beautiful than that.
(Sorry, I only initially partially quoted Dr Amens works)
I am so Thankful, Grateful, and Blessed because so much has gone so well for me. I cannot even tell you.
Take Care and I am Praying and Hoping You all have a Wonderful New Year if you are experiencing all kinds of insurmountable challenges or are opting out may you be Strengthened in and toward a Wonderful New Year!
Link to Change Your Brain Everyday by Dr Daniel G Amen Md
Courtesy of Amen Clinics
Mention @naturalflowismstudios
#laviniadeayr
Natural Flowism
A Freedom of Being!
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